Leadership Skills

EI: Managing Emotions

The second component of emotional intelligence is learning how to manage or regulate your emotions. We are of two minds:

1. A Emotional Mind
   • Sudden, split-second decision
   • Instinctive
   • May cause you to ask, “Why did I do that?”
2. A Rational Mind
   • Deliberate, analytical decision
   • Awakened to the moment

Our feelings come first; our first impulse is with our heart
Our thoughts come second; our cognition determines how we present our emotions

What Else?

• Accept responsibility for your responses
  You have the power to react or not. How you react is your responsibility and not someone else's.
• Reframe stressful situations into productive ones
  Separate the person from the situation. Focus on the activity, process, or problem. Set your emotional feelings about the person aside.
• Be aware of and manage your emotional triggers
  This takes practice, but you can diffuse them in advance. Think of it as coming into a situation well prepared. We will discuss this further in the next section.

If we are in the middle of extreme emotion,
how can we make good decisions and reason well?

You receive a lot of valuable information from your emotions. You can suppress and ignore your emotions OR use them to help you understand the situation.

Regulating Emotions

There are several things that determine how we regulate our emotions, one of course being how we were raised. Also, our beliefs and experiences help determine how we regulate our emotions.

Things you can do to help manage your emotions:

• Use humor! If you can find something to laugh about, it will boost your mood and make you less critical.
• Take deep breaths. Increasing the oxygen flow easies tension. Plus, it will give you a moment to think before reacting.
• Remove yourself. Distancing yourself will allow you to redirect your energy.

Passions can be contagious and energizing.

Ranting and raving can cause damage beyond repair.