Leadership Skills

EI: Being Aware of Emotions

The starting point for Emotional Intelligence is being aware of your emotions. This will take practice. Start by asking yourself: How am I feeling right now.

For some people, assessing feelings is easy, but for many people, it is more difficult. If you have difficulty finding the words. here are some verbs that may help.

If we do not know ourselves and how we are feeling,
how could we ever possibly be able to understand someone else?

What Else?

1. Examine how you judge things––what are thoughts vs. what are feelings
   The next time you hear or see something, ask yourself how you are judging it. Most of us evaluate and judge new information (and people) based on our past experiences; that may bring in bias.
2. Be "tuned in" to your senses––ask yourself about your feelings occasionally
   Throughout your day, stop and ask yourself how you are feeling. This is especially important if we are rushing forward and making decisions without thinking.
3. Understand your patterns of behavior, i.e., your normal reactions
   We all have patterns of behavior. Think about yours, and maybe there are some behaviors that you would prefer to change.

Self-talk

Another important component of self–awareness is to understand the importance of the self-talk that you use to elevate or lessen your emotions. Think about how you would complete these phrases:

• I am always _____________________
• My coworkers always ________________________
• Everyone _________________________
• Everything I do ________________________
• I never ___________________________

Did any of your replies come quickly? Were any of your responses negative? Remember that if we tell ourselves something, it is likely to come true. That means that if your outlook is negative, that will be what you encounter.

Now, think of the same phrases, and change them into positive statements. Complete these phrases:

• I am always _____________________
• My coworkers always ________________________
• Everyone _________________________
• Everything I do ________________________
• I CAN ___________________________

You probably noticed that the last statement was not identical, and that was intentional. You feel better when you think positive statements that are not even related to a specific situation. Practice rephrasing your self-talk to be more positive, and you will notice an impact on your life.